Ok, as you all know by now, this website is used to display the epic fail that is Guidos. But recently, a reader of GuidoFail.com sent in pictures of this asshole, and we couldn’t help but make him famous. Ok, guy, we know you must think you are a badass with your cool (HAHA) haircut, and your shavings in your head and stuff….but godDAMN…that shit looks expensive. Just some friendly advice for you, broseph….Maybe spent that money on a trip to the dentist. Seriously. I mean, you look like fucking “Bat Boy” from the Weekly World News Fame. Get your grill fixed, SON.
GuidoFail.com is PLEASED to announce we recieved our first hate mail! This little bundle of DOUCHE messaged us….
@Guidofail get a fucking life and stop hating on the Jersey Shore find something better to do…
This little ballbag spends his time all day and night on Twitter, stalking harassing messaging Lady Gaga, Snooki, and the Situation trying desperately to get them to message him back. He fails. We would like to thank this little doucher for our first official hate mail to GuidoFail.com, though. Amidst the Thousandshundreds three or four praises we’ve gotten for this site, we have our first hate mail. And, also, our little friend should be glad he’s like 13 years old, or we would have posted the epic fail that is his facebook, his myspace, and the hilarity that occurs there as well.
Well, what can be said here? Two of these chicks DEFINITELY have penises. To coin a phrase from GuidoFail.com fan D-Brewster in Seattle….These chicks are FUGLY. The only reason chicks like these have those fancy belly button piercings, is so they have somewhere handy to hang the little pine tree cut out air freshener. Fake tans, fake hair, fake nails, fake personalities, GUIDOS……FAIL
"Without ME.....this party would just be AWESO......"
This asshole needs some chick to come up to him, and knee him HARD in the crotch. What the FUCK is this guy trying to accomplish? We admittedly post some guidos and garfields up here on GuidoFail.com who are clearly not being serious, and are just messing around. We are deathly afraid this son of a bitch is being 100% serious. This guy clearly needs to go to some AA meetings. Accessories Anonymous. I mean, should we go ahead and take inventory? Giant Douchey Skull bling heavy metal rocker belt? (received for 750 tickets at local games arcade) CHECK. Two piercings in spots normally reserved for chicks? CHECK. Fake Bling Necklace from the Claw Game at Wal-Mart? CHECK. Fake Diamond Encrusted Watch from a kiosk in the Mall? CHECK. Douchey bracelet? CHECK. Douchey Ring? CHECK. Shiny gold writin….ugh..Fuck this guy.
Do you guys remember that bit on Sesame Street? The one where they showed a box of 4 kids, 3 of them doing the same thing, and one of them clearly standing out doing something different. The Donny Osmond sounding guy was singing “Can you guess which one of these kids is doin’ his own thing?…before my song is donnnne..!” Remember that? Here it is below…
It’s the first thing we thought of when we saw this picture. That…or this Guido is about to be eaten by vampires with a preference for their meals to be prepared medium well.
Ok, look. The editors and authors of GuidoFail.com are unanimous in the fact that skinny little bony crack head looking bitches are NOT hot. As a matter of fact, curves are a unanimous favorite among all of the employees of GuidoFail.com. Muffin Tops are NOT a dealbreaker. BUT wearing clothing that EXPOSES said muffin top, in all it’s glory, it’s probably not in your best interests. Especially if you are rocking a muffin top, and look kind of like a linebacker. Sweet tan though. I’m sure the real ladies of GuidoFail.com would have comments about this trophy Garfield. Comment them, or send ‘em to our staff, and we’ll get them posted for you.
Arrrrrrgh. We tried, but we can’t NOT comment on the tiny T-Rex arms this chick is rocking either. She does a FABULOUS impression of that green dinosaur in “Toy Story”.
GF EDIT, FAN COMMENTS:
D.Brewster in Seattle, WA says, “Oh wowsa…. That isn’t attractive.”
We really hope this is a Guido party, and you had to show up as a Guido or a Garfield. If not then dude in the back might be the laughing stock of a Guidos. Big props to Jason in New York for sending us the photo. Send in your photos to be entered in a random drawing for giftcards we will be giving away soon!
"Hey Guys, Don't my sister's earrings look FABULOUS??"
Now, we haven’t addressed this goddamn headband situation on GuidoFail.com yet, we don’t think. Just what exactly is that stupid fucking thing for? Is it legitimately there to keep the sweat out of your face while you fist pump your balls off out in public? We don’t think that’s the reason. Our theory is that it is there to catch the melting hair gel off these guys’ stupid fucking haircuts. Guido…….FAIL.
Can you bark like a dog for us, you fucking idiot?
We usually just post Guido idiots up here, and clown on them. This fucking asshole just makes us plain mad. Are you FUCKING kidding me? There are two options here, gang. This is his bed, complete with faux zebra stripes bedspread, Christmas lights around the headboard, and some unknown pink colored device on the bed as well, or this bed belongs to some underage girl in Jersey somewhere. Why the fuck would you let someone take a picture of you on your hands an knees, assuming the position, looking like you are 100% ready to take one up the 2 chute. This picture, the more we look at it, is not funny. This guy delivers EPIC douche chills, then becomes even creepy. This guy can go FUCK himself. Guido?………..FAIL!
GuidoFail.com fans are reporting in via GF’s Twitter, GF’s facebook, and via GuidoFail.com’s website itself. Thanks to B-Train (aka “Tan Jovi” from Sacramento, and Drunkie Brewster (aka The “Tan-Trum”) from Seattle for sending us in their Guidified photos. Use the tool here to Guidify yourself or a friend.
In another not so shocking revelation, Google is now proclaiming on their website, their thoughts on the Ed Hardy clothing fad. We couldn’t agree more. Everyone? Golf Clap for Google.
Look at this dipshit. These bar skanks apparently could not pass up the chance to have their picture taken with the rare, and elusive “Albino Guido”. And way to be classy, fuckface, girls love it when dudes flash the shocker in photos tak..wi….the…OH I GET IT. The Shocker reference in this photo doesn’t pertain to his hand gesture, it refers to the fork he stuck in the electrical outlet before going out for the evening. GUIDO……FAIL
It was only a matter of time. There is now a website available where you can upload photos of friends or family members (certainly NOT yourself, right?) and turn them into Guidos or Garfields! Here is an example we did of GOP Hottie Sarah Palin. One word. STEAMY!
"Well, if one thing leads to another, i'm not gonna tell him to get off!"
It is easy. Upload the photo. Size the face. Spray on your tan, choose your pose and setting, and voila! You turned your friends or family into giant douches! Send us your best ones to guido@guidofail.com and we’ll post ‘em. Double fist pump, fist bump, secret guido faggy high five to Jon in the Bronx for sending us this treasure.
Thanks to GuidoFail.com fan Barb from Monterey, CA for sending in this horrifying situation. Please visit this Cafepress to see how parents are finding new ways to torture their children. If you see a baby in any of these articles of clothing, please help. Call Child Protective Services immediately.
You may recognize this asshole from the “How To Guido” video seen here on GuidoFail.com recently. Not only is this faggot wearing his 8 year old sister’s T shirt, he’s wearing a Superman beltbuckle. A SUPERMAN BELT BUCKLE!! We want to know what happened in this dude(?)’s lifetime that made him think wearing a Superman beltbuckle is cool? SUPERMAN BELTBUCKLES ARE NOT COOL. Hopefully is was just a “dress like a world class douchebag” party at the local hangout, and then this would be ok. He would probably receiving the winning prize, which in case we should be congratulating him, not destroying him on the internet.
Thanks for Dave in Cleveland for sending in this video. If you are trying to explain the World of Guidom to a friend or family member, or perhaps trying to do an intervention with a loved one who may have drifted over to the Gel-side, then this video should help you immensely. Some of GuidoFail.com’s Hall of Famers are in this video. It teaches the fist pump, the look, the accessories, and pretty much everything you need to know. We hope you can put it to use, and help us towards our goal of a Guido Free America.
